Devotionals

This post comes from realizing I need a little bit of discipline in my writing life.  I started this blog without really figuring out what it's purpose was for - beyond my own musings about life, faith, and church.  So since day one I've wrestled with "WHAT should I write about" and "WHEN should I write."  I realized that without answering the "when," I'm not sure I can fully answer the "what."

Two things coalesced today into giving me some idea.  First, as part of my own morning devotionals, I subscribe to the ELCA's daily Bible readings list-serve.  What I love about it is that each day takes me to a new and different part of scripture.  What I don't like is that unlike some of the other devotionals I read, there is no written response to the reading.  

That takes me to the second thing that gave me an idea.  One of the most helpful activities I ever had in Seminary was in my first class - Old Testament 1 with Dr. Bob Robinson.  (One of my favorite classes).  Over the course of the Semester, Dr. Robinson had us keep a journal of our Bible readings (one I sadly can't seem to find).  Each day I would write a small reflection on what the reading said to me.  It was a good exercise that I thought I'd keep up.

I didn't.

So, now seems a good time - and this seems a good place.  And the ELCA gives me good fodder.

So, not promising I'm going to do this (yet) every day.  But it's time to start to try.  Reading devotionals each day has been an important aspect of my faith life.  Let's see if writing them is as well!

Ephesians 2:1-10 (NRSV) God is rich in mercy You were dead through the trespasses and sins in which you once lived, following the course of this world, following the ruler of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work among those who are disobedient. All of us once lived among them in the passions of our flesh, following the desires of flesh and senses, and we were by nature children of wrath, like everyone else. But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ -- by grace you have been saved -- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God not the result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life.  "For grace you have been saved through faith" is rather like mother's milk for Lutherans and this passage from Ephesians is one that I go back to time and again.   And in the dialogue between faith and works, it comes down pretty emphatically on the side of faith. But St. Paul isn't letting us off the "works" hook either.  We were, after all, made for good works. "For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life. Faith isn't an a action or a belief so much as it is our way of being.  It is what we are designed for.  Living out our lives in the way God has designed for us - finding that place where passion meets purpose - is the ultimate freedom. I remember the first time Alex was laid in my arms.  I'm sure I'm not alone, as other new parents can attest.  That moment when that small, crying little being is put in your arms and you fully realize: taking care of this new creature is what I was designed for.  Loving this child is what I am meant to do.  Being his or her parent is who I am!  What better good work than raising a child? Or maybe it was the time you realized your gift.  The first time a musician's fingers touch the piano keys and a melody comes forth.  Or a public speaker rouses an audience to action.  Or a teacher sees a student graduate with honors.  When you were finally conscious of who it is you are meant to be.  How amazing was that feeling? Good works, according to good Lutheran theology, are a response to the work that God first does in us.  They are the response of faith. But they are also quite simply just who we are meant to be.  God, as we know from Genesis, saw everything God made and knew that it was good.  Living into that goodness is what we are meant for and what ultimately will be the place where our passion meets our purpose. Loving God - you have created us to love and be loved.  You have designed us to be your good creation.  Remind us today and always of the freedom and joy that is found from being what you have made us to be.  Amen.

Where you are...

The good news:  I'm going for two posts in a week.  The bad:  I'm still not really confident in this whole blogging thing (so not yet putting it 'out there' all the way).

So, after listening to Nadia Bolz-Weber's On Being interview, I downloaded her new book, Pastrix, onto my Kindle.  Just started it this morning.  This woman is a prophet for our time.  Her voice seems to speak to the marginalized - but wait…that's each of us in some way, isn't it?  She herself has marveled at being a voice now not simply for the outsiders who flocked to her church, a House for all Sinners and Saints, in Denver, but also for folks like me:  soccer moms, middle class folk.  

One of the things that strikes me over and over again is her huge emphasis on community vs. individualized faith.  This is a theme I've seen recurring in many of the areas I've read and studied.  It also means doing the work of the gospel where you are.  Being fully engaged in your community, wherever that may be.  Not sitting on the sidelines or up in the balcony as an observer.

It's the kind of message that we all need to hear.  And it prompts me to excitement in my vocation:  as I continue to get to know the folks at St. Paul's.  As I get the honor of being part of their faith in action,  and get to see God's love through their eyes.

St. Paul's has its 175th anniversary this year.  Tomorrow is a community picnic to celebrate the event.  All our welcome to come and celebrate with us.  God loves a good party.  This week our gospel reading has Jesus telling the parable of the lost sheep and the lost coin.  What do the shepherd and the woman do when the lost sheep and coin are found?  They throw a party!  Joy abounds!  

I can think of no better way to show community love in action.  Every day the lost are found!  Sometimes we are the lost ourselves and are found again and again and again!  Celebrate!  Throw a party!

Tomorrow the good folks at St. Paul's will do just that.  But I'm reminded that really we do it each and every Sunday when we say:  The Lord be with you…And also with you!!  What could be more joyful than that - wishing God's peace on everyone in the community and then reaching out to make welcome those who haven't yet come to the party?

Grace Interrupting

I begin this with the caveat that I really don't like using the word "should" in terms of faith.  So, I'm breaking one of my own rules here.  Caveat over.

There's a reason I suspect that we "should" go to church frequently and read the bible frequently, and/or read books by theologians smarter than we are frequently. The reason is that we need to hear the story again and again and again until we actually start to believe it.  Or more accurately we need to hear the story again and again so we can believe it again.

Now I've "believed" it for as long as I can remember - way back from the days when as a tot I sat in Grace Lutheran Church in Hartford, CT and listened to my grandfather play the organ or direct the choir.  At the time, really that was all I paid attention to - the music.  Somehow though, something about Jesus loving me crept into my preschool brain.  The believing seed was planted.

Along the way, sometimes I've believed with a small b.  Sometimes I've believed with invisible ink - the kind of believing you can't really see.  And every now and then God knocks me clean out with some Big B believing.  It's really been pretty fluid - I've always had the image of faith as a river - with me weaving in and out of this believing/faith thing.

Even as I went to Seminary and served churches in volunteer and professional ministry positions, the truth was that every day was not a Big B day.  In fact, I've probably been experiencing a little bit of little b believing for the past few months.  You just get used to the daily grind, you know?  Meeting the new folks.  Organizing the new office.  Having lots of meetings.  Doing paperwork. Planning stuff.  Suddenly putting your faith out there in a blog just seems to daunting and more Big B than you're feeling.  So days turn to months and suddenly you feel like your little b is in danger of being invisible ink b.

And that's almost always when God grabs you by the scruff of your neck, puts someone or something in front of you you can't ignore, and says "Pay attention!"  In other words, Grace works her magic.

Today that someone was Nadia Bolz-Weber.  Now I've heard her before - in videos, interviews blogs, etc.  But as I listened to her interview today on Krista Tippitt's On Being on NPR podcast, God did that scruff of the neck thing.  

As I listened I realized everything she said in the interview resonated with me in a visceral way.  On the surface, I don't have much in common with her.  Unlike Nadia, I've grown up as a Lutheran.  I don't have lots of tattoos - just one, and that pretty new.  I hadn't been addicted in the past to drugs or alcohol.  I grew up a nice suburban girl in nice suburban churches.

But the truth was, my nice suburban girl was always just a cover for the scared, imperfect, highly insecure control addicted freak who lived right below the surface.  I might not have been addicted to drugs or alcohol, but my addiction to look right, act right, and BE right were just as destructive.

Listening to Nadia speak about how Grace interrupts us in a disruptive way, how the Christian life is one of continual death and resurrection (rather than a simple once and done saved experience that leaves you a 'good' person), how God is out to give us a divine heart transplant and how none of that happens when it's exactly convenient to you, lifted a huge boulder off my little b heart.  I had always "known" from growing up in my Lutheran churches that we are "resurrection" people, but never let it sink in deep enough.  Grace resurrects us daily.

I've been reading a lot of Richard Rohr lately, who has helped me make sense of Thomas Merton's whole concept of the true self and the false self.  The language is different, but the concept is the same and dovetailed with what I heard from Nadia: we are beautiful creatures created by the living God, but we spend a whole big part of our life not believing it…not little b believing OR big B believing.  We settle instead for what we think we know is right, where we are comfortable, and what makes sense, keeping that true little self hidden from growing and stretching out into the world.

Richard Rohr, Nadia Bolz-Weber join others who have fertilized my little true self who is trying to bloom.  And every now and again, when I can feel that true self trying to make herself known, I realize it's because I'm having a Big B moment.  Grace has interrupted in a loud, visceral way.

Lately I've been playing around in my head just how important Jesus' command of Do Not Judge is.  Some part of me has sensed that along with loving God and neighbor, this is part of the big truth that we just need to get.  And with the help of Nadia and Richard I think I'm beginning to see just why.

If we are too busy judging others - what they do, who they are, who they love, what race they are, how much money they have, who they voted for, what version of God they do or don't worship - we are missing out on Grace knocking on our door wanting to fertilize our little true self.  We can't see God coming to grab US by the scruff of the neck if we are too busy pointing out the scruffs of other people's necks. We can't see what in us needs the divine heart transplant if we are too busy telling other people they need to change their hearts.  We can't see the people God has put in our lives - from Jesus to the lady in supermarket to the other driver to the waiter who brings you a meal.  We can't see that those people are there for Grace to work her magic.  We miss out on a whole wonderful part of our relationship with God if we're too busy trying to pick the specks out of other peoples' eyes.

We forget this.  We forget how grace works.  We forget that sometimes God graciously gives us Big B moments.  We forget and we go on judging and so we get dragged into little invisible ink b lives.

Until the next moment God tries to get our attention.  Like God got my attention today.  I am thankful for Nadia Bolz-Weber giving me a Big B reminder.  I'm also thankful for a community of faith where opportunities for reminders abound!  I've had more than one face at St. Paul's lift my little b toward the Big B!

I know the story. I've heard it since I was a preschooler sitting in my grandparents' church. 

But it's a story that bears repeating again and again.  Because sometimes it sinks in.