Control

Genesis 24:1-27 (NRSV)

Now Abraham was old, well advanced in years; and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things. Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his house, who had charge of all that he had, "Put your hand under my thigh and I will make you swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I live, but will go to my country and to my kindred and get a wife for my son Isaac." The servant said to him, "Perhaps the woman may not be willing to follow me to this land; must I then take your son back to the land from which you came?"

Abraham said to him, "See to it that you do not take my son back there. The LORD, the God of heaven, who took me from my father's house and from the land of my birth, and who spoke to me and swore to me, 'To your offspring I will give this land,' he will send his angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there. But if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you will be free from this oath of mine; only you must not take my son back there." So the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master and swore to him concerning this matter.

Then the servant took ten of his master's camels and departed, taking all kinds of choice gifts from his master; and he set out and went to Aram-naharaim, to the city of Nahor. He made the camels kneel down outside the city by the well of water; it was toward evening, the time when women go out to draw water. And he said, "O LORD, God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today and show steadfast love to my master Abraham. I am standing here by the spring of water, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. Let the girl to whom I shall say, 'Please offer your jar that I may drink,' and who shall say, 'Drink, and I will water your camels'  let her be the one whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac. By this I shall know that you have shown steadfast love to my master."

Before he had finished speaking, there was Rebekah, who was born to Bethuel son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother, coming out with her water jar on her shoulder. The girl was very fair to look upon, a virgin, whom no man had known. She went down to the spring, filled her jar, and came up. Then the servant ran to meet her and said, "Please let me sip a little water from your jar." "Drink, my lord," she said, and quickly lowered her jar upon her hand and gave him a drink. When she had finished giving him a drink, she said, "I will draw for your camels also, until they have finished drinking." So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough and ran again to the well to draw, and she drew for all his camels. The man gazed at her in silence to learn whether or not the LORD had made his journey successful.

When the camels had finished drinking, the man took a gold nose-ring weighing a half shekel, and two bracelets for her arms weighing ten gold shekels, and said, "Tell me whose daughter you are. Is there room in your father's house for us to spend the night?" She said to him, "I am the daughter of Bethuel son of Milcah, whom she bore to Nahor." She added, "We have plenty of straw and fodder and a place to spend the night." The man bowed his head and worshiped the LORD and said, "Blessed be the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who has not forsaken his steadfast love and his faithfulness toward my master. As for me, the LORD has led me on the way to the house of my master's kin." 

The road that Abraham followed to get to where God led him was a long one.  Abraham was known for his faith - and yet, the journey to get his son and hope for the tribe that God was building with their family was full of mistakes and missteps.

Yet now in his old age, Abraham rests in full confidence with the plan God has for him, and as he prepares for the end of his life, he continues to make sure that God's will continues to be followed.

Those plans now affect the next generation, specifically Isaac and the going about getting him a wife.  Something it seems (at least based on this portion of text) that Isaac won't have much say about.

This is the age old dilemma, isn't it? Where in my life do I get to control, and where in my life do I simply need to learn to trust God and let go?  That need for control is often the very thing that leads to sin - missing the mark.

The process of letting go is not an easy one, and it isn't meant to be.  We need to learn to make decisions and to learn to control aspects of our life and personality.  However, as we mature in our life and in our faith, we begin to learn the reality of powerlessness and where we most definitely don't have control.

At least, hopefully we do.

It took Abraham - already an old man by the time he began this journey - a while to fully learn to let go and trust in God's leadership. It's taking me some time myself.  I don't know about you, but I do a lot of backsliding on this "letting go of control" thing.

It takes daily reminders.  Prayers of strength and forgiveness.  People around me to remind me of my reality and direct my path when I dig in and don't want to let go.

If you don't have someone in your life like that - someone to remind you you aren't in control (a pastor, a friend, a therapist or small group, a spiritual director), I suggest finding someone.  Someone to help you when you go off the rails.  Someone to help keep you humble.

Again, the AA and other addiction groups seems to get it more seamlessly I think than many of our churches.  "One day at a time" and "let go and let God" are two of their slogans.  Pretty simple, even if it isn't easy.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change or control.  Courage to change the things I must.  And wisdom to know the difference.  And give me courage to find some in my life I trust to remind me of your patience and love when I forget and go my own way.  Amen.