Joseph

Genesis 45:1-15

New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)

Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried out, “Send everyone away from me.” So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it. Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph. Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him, so dismayed were they at his presence.

Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come closer to me.” And they came closer. He said, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. And now do not be distressed, or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life. For the famine has been in the land these two years; and there are five more years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here, but God; he has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt. Hurry and go up to my father and say to him, ‘Thus says your son Joseph, God has made me lord of all Egypt; come down to me, do not delay. You shall settle in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children’s children, as well as your flocks, your herds, and all that you have. I will provide for you there—since there are five more years of famine to come—so that you and your household, and all that you have, will not come to poverty.’ And now your eyes and the eyes of my brother Benjamin see that it is my own mouth that speaks to you. You must tell my father how greatly I am honored in Egypt, and all that you have seen. Hurry and bring my father down here.” Then he fell upon his brother Benjamin’s neck and wept, while Benjamin wept upon his neck. And he kissed all his brothers and wept upon them; and after that his brothers talked with him.

Is there anything better than a reunion story?

Is there anything better than a forgiveness story?

We don't get much of Joseph's brothers reaction here, but I can guess at the total amazement.  What did they feel?

Surprise?  Shame?  Sorrow?  Joy?

All of those things at once most likely.

And Joseph...what did he feel?

Not all stories of reunion and forgiveness end with such a grand "aha" moment: with seeing so clearly God's hand playing its part in working all things out for a reason.  With taking such a cruel act - selling a brother into slavery - and turning it into a blessing: a family being pulled out of poverty as a result.

Most stories of broken relationships seem to take twisted paths that lead into dark turns and alleys.  Sometimes even forgiveness doesn't seem to heal all, and often, questions of where God is in the brokenness, stay on lips for years.

Sometimes forgiveness doesn't mean reunion. 

Sometimes it simply means letting go.

Sometimes a relationship can only be healed by being separate.  

It's a cliche to say forgiveness is hard, but then most cliches are cliches for a reason - the truth is there so obviously.  Forgiveness IS hard.

And forgiveness takes many forms.  But in all of its forms, at the center of it is healing. It may mean healing the relationship and bringing people back together.

But it may also mean healing wounds in self that mean keeping a relationship at arms length: an alcoholic who has wounded you but still drinks or an abuser who is still violent, you may find yourself able to forgive, but that forgiveness may mean letting go rather than reuniting.

Whatever the case, forgiveness is a process.  And it is one that benefits from the strength of community.  In all the times in my life where I've had to forgive something hard or serious or seemingly impossible, it came with the strength of those behind me.  A community of people, and sometimes individuals, helping me along, giving me grounding and being there to hold me up when things felt to difficult.  

A community of faith can be those people.  A therapist.  A spiritual director.  A pastor.  A friend.  Or even best, all of the above.  Forgiveness is a journey.  It took Joseph down many wild and wonderful paths.  It can take you somewhere too!

God of mercy, help me to forgive when I find it impossible. Give the strength of people behind me to help me on the path to forgiveness. And help me to know when forgiveness means reunion and when it means letting go.  Amen.